Where are you speaking from?
Jul 07, 2024Want to know WHY your communication sometimes breaks down at work?
Introducing ego states (or transactional analysis if you want to get fancy)
It's really not too complex when you get into it, and I am going IN. You ready?
We've got 3 ego states:
✨ Parent
✨ Adult
✨ Child
When we respond from our parent ego state, we typically demonstrate behaviours influenced by our upbringing/ experiences and internalised parental figures. How does it present?
🌱 Nurturing parent: This reflects the positive and caring aspects of parental influence. Think encouragement, compassion and guidance.
😬 Critical parent: This reflects the internalised critical or punitive voice from authority figures. We see this manifests as judgment, rules, and a tendency to criticize or discourage.
Come on, we've all done it 🧐
❤️ Our Adult ego state is the rational here and now, processing information logically and analysing situations based on facts. It's responding in the present moment, and not influenced by emotional reactions to the same extent as the other ego states.
Now for our child ego state. This ones influenced by our emotions, feelings and experiences from childhood. This embodies both the positive and negative emotions we experienced during that time, represented by two aspects:
💥 Adaptive child: Behaviours and emotions learned to adapt to situations. This can be compliant as well as rebellious behaviour, seeking approval, and conforming to social norms.
🌈 Free child: This represents the spontaneous, creative and uninhibited aspects of a person. This can be playful, emotional and imaginative.
These three ego states interact during our communication with others and it happens all the time. When you're more aware of them, it makes it easier to adapt and flex your style because you can question where you're responding from. More importantly, you can also start to see where others are responding from too and change your approach accordingly.
Happy communicating! *TNA is from the work of Eric Berne.
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