Your superpower for managing tricky relationships

Dealing with challenging people is no fun, but the older I get the more I realise it's part of the package. Whether it's negativity, passive aggression, or outright confrontational behavior, difficult people can drain your energy and derail your focus. 

While your first instinct may be to avoid them or react, there are smarter (and less energetically draining) ways to handle these relationships. We're dialling into your emotional intelligence (EQ) here folks, and you've got it in abundance (or you wouldn't be reading this 👀) 

EQ allows you to recognize emotions in yourself and others, and respond thoughtfully rather than reflexively. Self awareness is key. This builds trust and defuses tension.

Here are some tips to manage difficult people with empathy and grace, whilst not compromising on your own values and integrity. 

• Seek to understand their perspective. There may be underlying objectives, stressors or insecurities causing the behavior. It's not your job to reassure necessarily, but it'll help you to understand. 

• Set kind but clear boundaries. State directly what behavior you will not tolerate, but avoid hostility. Try calmly saying "I can see you're frustrated, but please don't shout at me" or "I've heard you're unhappy about the way that meeting went. I'd love for you to talk to me directly in future so we can solve this together." 

• Kill them with kindness. Go out of your way to be collaborative and compassionate. It's hard to be rude to someone who's exceptionally thoughtful.

• Involve a neutral third party. An objective mediator like HR or a friend / family member can help facilitate a productive discussion to resolve conflicts.

• Forgive, but don't forget. Let go of resentment, but remain aware in case a pattern reemerges. Protect your peace!

• Limit exposure when needed. Politely decline to engage in certain scenarios that enable their toxicity. You have that power. 

While you can't control others, you can control how you respond. Lead by example and watch negative energy transform through the strength of your own light. Like Michelle Obama said, "When they go low, we go high!"

Life Update 

I've got a bunch of brilliant workshops coming up at AllBright including some work around conflict resolution (hence the above tips!) and some more group coaching. I am always so excited about my work in this space with women because it really represents my soul purpose and that glow I'm always talking about. 

We're also close to launching the September Career Glow Zone programme. Are you joining? Reply to this email and I'll send you all the details. 

It's Glow Zone time! Introducing Lisa Hughes: Coach, 2024 host of The Blooming North podcast, and specialist in transformational thinking.

I met Lisa through a positive intelligence coaching programme and her energy hooked me immediately. Full on legend right here👇

Grab a cI just know you'll enjoy getting to know her. 

What was the turning point where you decided to take control of your career path and actively create your dream role?

I loved my job and the company I worked for and at the time wasn't thinking about making a move. I loved coaching, listening and supporting people, and doing it full time was an aspiration. I was completing my ICF training where I was being coached and it was some of those conversations that created my turning point.

My coach asked a really simple question, “What do you want?”

What I really wanted was to be traveling more, I wanted to work hard but for it to be for me and eventually I wanted a job that would let me work anywhere in the world.

So, “What’s stopping you?” they asked. Boom there it was. The reality hit me smack in the face.

Absolutely nothing was stopping me. What I hadn’t realised is that for years I was setting myself up for this. I saved, I had little in the way of outgoings, had no one I was responsible for, not even a pet, and I had a very supportive partner. I was in a very lucky position. I was able to give myself a long runway to make a business a success. I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. 

So within 4 weeks I’d handed in my notice and set up my coaching business.

What inspired you to push past self-doubt and go after bold goals? How did they empower you?

I’ve spent years rewiring my brain, to make decisions from opportunity not from fear, so I’d already had lots of practice making bold decisions and doing scary things in my life.

An example is we bought a house that made good financial sense, then spent 5 years renovating it. If I’d have feared the hard work and the cost and living in it whilst doing the renovation, I wouldn’t have done it. By making the decision from a financial investment standpoint, it took the emotion out of it. To help me through my boldest and most recent decision - setting up my own company.  I needed to let go of all self-doubt.

One of my top values is credibility, and myself doubt came from: Am I good enough? Do I know enough? Do I have the right experience and credentials? From the feedback I had I knew I had something to offer, so I leaned into the opportunity, looking for ways to share my training and development knowledge and coaching skills.

I heard more recently from another coach, that if you know more than the people in an average size room, then you have knowledge worth sharing. Self-doubt also came from not knowing anything about setting up or running a business. So, I looked for evidence I could do it, by looking at the other experiences I had in life. I didn’t know how to renovate a house but managed it. While in the transition of leaving work and setting up the business repeated the phrase ‘trust the process’ to myself. That’s what I’ve done before, and I truly believe I can figure most things out. The amazing thing about today’s world is everyone has done it before you… so all we need to do is copy and paste and see what works for us. You are not alone and in our digital age we can access so much support. And as long as I’m enjoying the process, it usually works out ok.

How do you maintain passion and continue growing even after achieving your initial career goals?

My passion comes from learning. I thought I’d made it when I gained my role as a creative. I loved it and thought if I can gain a few promotions, I’ll stay in this kind of role. But I was fortunate working for a large company and other opportunities opened up. When a role opened in the Talent Development team, I was straight on the phone to ask what that manger was looking for. I’d attended some training a few years prior and remember looking at the trainer thinking, "I’d love to do that and have these qualifications." I really wanted the role and did everything to get it. When I did I was a sponge and soaked up all the knowledge, and was supported by my manger to gain various qualifications in leadership, coaching and psychometrics. At home I did more and became a Neuro linguistics programming partitioner. I used NLP in my own life so wanted to use it in my coaching. I’m currently learning positive intelligence that I can also apply to my work. I enjoy learning as an adult way more than I did as a child. I take the pressure off and enjoy the process with no expectations. Being connected to other people also learning I find helps see a world much bigger than mine. It helps me continue to look for opportunity knowing there people out there like me doing the same. I’m excited to see where my learning and growth in my business takes me next. 

What an inspiring approach to life and learning, and I've loved hearing about Lisa's approach to her mindset and determination and belief in her abilities. More of this for all of us I say! 

You can find her here: 

Instagram | Website | LinkedIn

Ready to tell your story? From freelancers to founders, corporate queens to those just starting out - every story is worth a read.

Reply GLOW ZONE to this email and let's get your voice out there ❤️

Feeling inspired? Ready to step into your glow zone? 

This is for you if you are: 

• Looking to take your career and life to the next level
• Wanting to activate your path to promotion
• Ready to take the next step in your career
• Looking for strategies to amplify your voice and leadership

One space has been nabbed before we've even launched the offer (you women move FAST 🔥), so I'm now inviting 9 ambitious women like you, looking to build fulfilling careers and push for more, to join my very special beta group programme beginning at the end of September. 

We'll work together to empower you to claim your success, and build a life more inspired and aligned with your true self.

No more waiting. The time is now. 

Your next career breakthrough is closer than you think. 

Join us. Step into the career you deserve, doing the work you love. 

Find out more here, and join the waitlist. This is the only time I'll be offering the programme at this price, so be sure to grab this opportunity now. 

Payment plans now available too

That's all for this week, Glow-Getters! Remember, your Glow Zone is unique to you. Embrace it, nurture it, and let it shine.

Until next time, keep glowing!